Sacrifice and Regret
by Mysterybisexual707
Summary: She stares at the ash falling from the sky. She should've stayed, this was her burden. Yet when the sun finally shines on the others, a cruel fate only awaits her. Bad with summaries, first fanfic R&R please! Eremika, with Jearmin and RivaHan. Story will have Angst, Action, and Romance. Sorry but everything after chapter 84 of the manga will be my own story. Will be multichapter!
1. Chapter 1

She should have never left them alone.

She knew that if she left, something bad was bound to happen, but why didn't she listen to her usually right instincts. The asian girl mentally swore at herself as she gazed upon the charred body in front of her. Her knees hit the rooftop with a thud as she gripped her head, it was coming back, this ache in her head. Yet, that was the least of her problems because that ache wasn't nearly as strong as the one in her heart. Tears we already brimming at the ends of her eyes, begging to fall out. No… She had to be strong, not for herself but for Eren. The ache in her chest grew bigger, how could she possibly be strong for him when her mental state was already on the edge of cracking. Losing people was one thing she had accustomed herself to, death was always constantly surrounding them, even at the young age of nine. In fact she faced even those terrible deaths with a strong steel like face, even though she knew deep down inside she wasn't like that. Now everything had come crashing down to her, this one moment that was her fault.

Armin and Eren had given her those reassuring smiles, saying they were going to defeat the colossal she trusted them, but even then she felt that pinch of worry in her heart and her brain. She didn't want to leave them, it was just the both of them. No Levi, no Erwin, no Jean, and especially no her. She wanted to stay and fight with them, their old trio, 'the Shinganshina Trio' as people called them. She was going to fight, she was going to protect the only two things she had left, the only two things that kept her living. Yet, it was all of humanity that was counting on her, not just those two, so when Jean took her shoulder and gave her that stern look she knew she had to trust them.

The Colossal might have been taller, but the Armoured Titan had a tougher defence and a greater speed. The Recon Corps needed her on the Armoured, her brain knew that but her heart was telling her something different. Knowing that her brain was the logical choice she chose that she would trust her first friends. With doubt and worry in her movements she had turned around and walked into the opposite direction.

"Don't worry, both of us will survive. We have to, otherwise we can never see the ocean, right Armin." Eren's voice stood out in the sounds of chaos and screams of their comrades dying.

Her short hair had whipped in the wind as she snapped her head to look back at those angry passionate green eyes she had always loved. His look had 'it will be okay' all over his face. She had looked over to the innocent small blond boy who gave her a thumbs up. She had given them a smile in return and had caught up to her squad.

Her battle had been tough alright, but she had fought through it, and hard. Those two boys that had saved her were on her mind as she fought the beast that broke through that wall. Even the shifter had slammed her into a nearby broken roof and she felt the sharp tile bite into the flesh of her stomach she smiled, she fought even on the verge of death, she had to make it back to them. The Armoured had fallen though not by her but Hangë and she was happy, but all that joy had stopped when she saw that ball of fire fall from the sky. Then that feeling had returned, similar to that feeling she had gotten when Eren had 'died' but the feeling had come back and it was ten times stronger than last time. Something had gone wrong, so she flew, recklessly latching on to every building that came in her way, slaying every titan that came in her way. She had to get there.

Jean and Connie shouted her name behind her telling her to slow down, that she was wasting all of her gas. Her ears were blocking out any sound that weren't her two childhood friends. They had to be alright, they had to be, there was no way. She had tried to convince herself that everything was going to be okay, but deep down that lingering feeling was still there.

When she arrived it was like her whole world came crashing down onto her, it wasn't even Eren angrily looking to Levi, no it was something much worse her eyes had immediately been drawn to that freshly burnt corpse that lay in front of her. Eren had not even noticed her, neither did her fellow Ackerman. She had tried to ignore that pain in her head as she said his name.

"Armin?" Her voice sounded confused and she didn't deny it herself.

Stammering onto the roof she grasped at her head and kept on looking at the scene in front of her. No, this was not happening. Everything that her head was saying was just a fake ass reason not accept this scenario in front of her. She looked at her surroundings again and thats when she heard the growl.

"You better use this damn serum on him or so help me Levi." She cringed as she heard his voice. Broken but it had that edge.

"Eren you know I have to make the most logical choice", the captain squinted his eyes glaring at the emotional wreak of a teenager in front of him. "Think about it, who is more important the commander or a soldier."

"Armin had the brains to even become the fucking commander himself. He has saved our shitty lives more than Erwin has done. The recon corps would be lost without him Levi, and you know that so make the fucking right decision." Eren growled.

"It doesn't change that fact that Armin was a mere soldier, a soldier joins knowing he won't probably make it through this shitty reality we live in. Except it Eren." Levi's voice was stern.

"Without Armin we would all be dead right now. Erwin told you before that he was sacrificing himself so use the fucking serum on Armin, please." The titan shifter held passion in his voice.

The female Ackerman had seen the look in her fellow Ackerman's face when she saw him lunging forward. Her instincts fast as ever jumped into the scene.

She had stopped his fist with her strong grip. She could feel Eren's eyes widen when she did it.

"Stop… Please. Armin wouldn't want this." Her voice cracking and she couldn't stop two or three tears fall from her eyes.

"Mikasa…" The asian girl froze when he said her name with such passion and care.

"Goddammit Ackerman, you just had to save your fucking boyfriend." Levi growled in disgust.

The grip that Mikasa had on his hand tightened and she glared at him and with the words she never thought would leave her mouth left her mouth.

"For once, I am not saving Eren." Both Levi and Eren looked at her with pure confusion.

With a stern voice she pushed Levi's hands a little further away. "I am trying to save the Survey Corps." She stopped. "But most importantly I am trying to save humanity."

Mikasa took a deep breath and stared Levi right into the eyes with those 'listen to me or you die eyes'. "Armin had, no still has one of the most advanced brains of our civilization." She pointed to Eren. "If he wasn't there Eren wouldn't have become one of the Corps strongest weapons but a monster in a cage. If Armin wasn't there the hole in Trost wouldn't have been sealed, and we would have all been dead. There has been so many times that innocent boy has saved your confident ass."

The asian girl looked down and moved her hand to the collars of his bloodied jacket. "So please, I know you and Erwin were close like how Armin and Eren are, but you and I both know saving Armin is the right choice. I know it hurts, I know it hurts, you don't want to lose what seems like your only friend but please, you and I both know it is time for the three of us and the rest of the Survey Corps to save humanity. Make the right choice, the one Erwin would want."

The two men looked at her with pure and utter shock, that was the first time Eren had her talk about something so passionately. Levi on the other hand looked down and shed a single tear, he hated this. He hated how that shitty brat was right. Life for them was a battlefield and he could't afford to kill humanity with his selfish reasons. Levi wanted to cry but he heard her voice again.

"I know it hurts Levi, I know because you don't want to lose your friends again, Petra and the others are gone I know… But that is just the cruel world live in, I know you felt like Erwin was the last one for you and I know you don't want to say goodbye, trust me I know. Levi we are Ackermans, being the last ones standing are kinda our specialize. I promise you though this time, we won't be the last ones. I promise."

With those last words Levi broke into a full out sob, he hadn't cried in front of another person since Farlon and Isabelle, when his team got killed by the Female titan he had cried in his own solitaire.

Levi stood up and gave Mikasa a small smile he would rarely let others see. "I will make the right choice." He looked at Eren then back at Mikasa. "The serum will be used on Armin, for his brains to save humanity."

Eren nearly burst into tears as he looked proudly at Mikasa then back at Levi. The short captain walked over to Armin's burnt corpse. With a needle in his hand he looked down at Armin and let a silent tear fall down his face.

"Good-bye Erwin, my good friend." The needle plunged into Armin's neck, and there was a bright light that blinded everybody.

Eren had watched the scene unfold before him, never before him. He had been so heartbroken, yet so much more rage had come out of nowhere from him. When Levi had first brought up the idea of saving Erwin over his blonde best friend his world had came crashing down on him.

That was why Mikasa had come in, injured like crazy emotions all over the place, he wouldn't lie to say that he had a small sense of hope. If this titan serum was a way to save Armin he knew that the both of them would stop at nothing to save their best friend.

Though one thing had bothered Eren, when they were given the news that when Armin would eat Bertholdt he would see his memories. The green eyed boy couldn't dare imagine what that would have to be like for Armin to see. All those cruel things Bertholdt did. Not only that he knew that the Colossal Titan Shifter had feeling for Annie, and Armin used to as well. It would be an extra level of heart break. Why did the three of them have to go through so much fucking pain.

As that final thought entered his head, a sudden memory flashed through his head. He snapped his eyes over to Mikasa. When she had arrived she had gripped her head. A wave of worry rushed through him like an open river. Had she hurt her head trying to defeat the Armoured? Eren shook his head inside in mind, no it was like he has seen her doing that before. No. He couldn't worry about her now, Armin was more important. Eren had zoned out a bit through the conversation but as soon as he hears Levi say the words "your boyfriend" to Mikasa he had gone back into the conversation, his cheeks flaming red.

He had expected Mikasa to say something about how she must do everything to protect him, but no her answer was something much different.

"For once, I am not saving Eren." Those where the words that exited her mouth and Eren had stood there in shock. She was using her serious voice and boy was it scary, but the german boy found something compelling about it.

He watched silently the whole conversation between the Ackerman's. Eren's focus had been on Mikasa the whole time. Never before had she shown so much emotion speaking to someone other than himself and Armin a few time. As soon as his thoughts went to the blonde boy he had immediately looked over to his burnt body that was barely breathing next to him. He looked away with a few silent tears, but then he heard that sound.

It had been a sob, his head snapped around to look at the two asians in front of him, only to see Levi in tears. Never had Eren seen this sight, even when his original special ops squad had died Levi had not cried. At least not in front of people, for fucks sake Petra was supposed to be his fiancé but he did not cry in front of others.

As the captain was crying, Mikasa was busy saying all this stuff about how much of a better use Armin would be to the Survey Corps. Never had Eren been so inspired by Mikasa, long streams of water were exiting her eyes, and Eren didn't want to see them rolling down her face. Yet, he had no right to talk because the same thing was happening to him.

"The serum will be used on Armin, for his brains to save humanity."

When Eren had heard those words exit the Captain's mouth, Eren snapped around and looked at him. Hange was now here, and Eren had no idea where she had come from but she was restraining Mikasa. The green-eyed titan shifter had not been paying attention to what the arms and the legs of his fellow comrades were doing, only the tears on Mikasa's face, and Armin's burnt body.

For god's sake he couldn't even remember lying on the edge of roof, unable to move through his grief. Once he heard that the serum was going to be used on Armin his lumps in his throat grew. He was happy that Armin was going to be saved, but what types of things will his precious friend have to see, in the process of eating the traitor Bertholdt? He swore to himself.

Before he could even process what was going on, the serum was injected and there was a blinding light that only meant one thing, his best friend was shifting into a titan.


	2. Chapter 2

Authors note:

Sorry this chapter took longer to update. This chapter doesn't have much Eremika in it, and it is mainly about Armin. Next chapter will have way more Eremika and I will try to update sooner.

Disclaimer: Shingeki no Kyojin/Attack on Titan does not belong to me but Hajime Isayma. If I did own it Eremika would be canon!

Anyways enjoy!

The last thing the blonde boy had remembered was telling Eren to make his dreams come true for him, of seeing the ocean. Though, it wasn't even like he could hear him. Armin had never thought he would die like this. He had always imagined die at an old age, happy just like his grandpa. He had wanted to grow old and die married. Yet, in this world the blonde boy wasn't even sure he could've gotten married. Society had never accepted people like him. The burning of his flesh made everything real though. He had wanted to live, he wanted to live with them, those two.

The genius closed his eyes and tried to let the darkness take him through this painful experience. No, it wasn't going to work like that though, just like Mikasa has always said, the world was cruel. The boy wanted to cry but he had to be strong, at least this one time. He had to be, he just had to be… Before joining the Survey Corps, Eren had told him to leave that he didn't want to see him die, but he had to do it. He had to see the ocean.

A smile grew on his face as he saw a cloak with the wings of freedom on the back of it. Yes, joining the Survey Corps every soldier had walked in knowing there was a good ninety percent chance they would die. He knew this, so he had to accept this fate. He had to except.

So he had let the darkness willingly take him.

The blonde boy had no idea on where the hell he was only that it was in the middle of no where. There was grass and trees, and he was pretty this wasn't anywhere inside the walls. His surroundings resembled something that a gave a rustic village feel. His feet tried to move, but his body wouldn't respond to his brain, just what exactly was going on? Then he heard a shout.

His blonde hair whipped in the whip as he turned to look at the person should. The smaller boy took in the appearance of this teenage male. Tall, bulky and blonde. He looked like he could take down a wall. Then when he opened his mouth to say something, Armin stood still eyes wide.

"Bertholdt! What are you standing still for? We've gotta go meet Annie and talk to to the chief regarding our next mission." The boy called.

Then Armin finally felt movement as he was running towards the titan shifter, but his brain didn't tell him to move, so what was controlling him?

"Sorry, Reiner! Is Annie already there?" Bertholdt asked.

"Yeah, funny how she's always the first thing you ask about. Now come on the chief wants us, he says it's time for the one."

Armin stared at the scene. Why the hell was he seeing this? This wasn't his life, no this was Bertholdt's, so why was he here? Armin clenched his head, in attempt to regain any sense of realism. Wasn't he supposed to be dead? He shook his head, no if he was dead why did he feel like he's was living in the past.

The confused boy had to no choice but to follow those two traitors. The village they were walking through, was strangely desolate, well at least Armin thought so. The people who lived there seemed so normal, yet the three traitors weren't. Yet, he wouldn't be surprised if the somewhat normal people were shifters as well.

They kept on walking until Reiner had finally stopped, in looked like the best looking building in this place. The blonde buff man knocked three times then said something Armin couldn't understand. The door opened and Armin's eyes widened.

Her pointed larger nose and her cold blue eyes. No. Why was she here? She was supposed to be stuck in that stupid crystal. The blonde boy was so confused, where was he, why was he seeing these things?

"Your late." Her voice was cold as ever, and Armin cringed.

"Sorry Annie. I woke up late-" Bertholdt began but shut up as soon as he saw the female's glare.

Bertholdt felt a large smack on his back. "Haha, I can't believe you made her mad. I thought you liked-" Bertholdt immediately placed his hands on Reiner's mouth to shut him up.

"Can you two idiots stop fooling around? The chief is waiting." Yup Annie was definitely mad.

Walking deeper into the building, they arrived at an isolated room, the only thing laminating the room was one single candle. The two male shifters sat on floor legs crossed as Annie walked up to a purple curtain.

"They are here." She said.

The curtain opened to see a middle aged woman with long blonde hair, blue eyes, a innocent smile, and a long pale pink dress, she quite reminded Armin of an older Historia. The three shifters bowed their heads to show their respect. Was this their chief? Armin thought.

The lady stood, while the others sat down. She looked down and gave them a stern but happy look.

"Now I've gathered the three of you today here for one reason. We are going to start our next mission." She looked at the three shifters with a stern expression on her face.

"This may be our most important mission yet, I want the three of you to infiltrate the walls. Bertholdt with you height and strength you'll break the first wall and allow us to get in. Reiner with your defence and muscles you'll break through the next. Yet, the most critical person to this mission is you Annie. Out of you three, Annie your mission is critical."

What was this mission this lady was talking about? Armin was so confused, he just wanted to go back, just anywhere but here. Why was he here? What was the reason for this? He had thought that before your die you see your life flash before your eyes, so why was he seeing something that was his life? He did die didn't he? His thoughts were soon ended as something the chief was saying caught his attention.

"Your going to invade the Military Police, gain their trust and we will break them down from the inside. This regiment has the most information about activities going on inside of the walls, not only that you can get close to their king." The chief explains.

Armin's eyes widened, so it was a plan from the start for Annie to go into that regiment, but the plan had failed?

"If she gets found out, we have a plan b. That is for Bertholdt and Reiner to act as decoys. Attack Shinganshina, I've heard Dr Jaeger has something in that basement of his to take us down. That god damn traitor." She snarled.

Traitor? What was she talking about, Armin was even more confused now. Realization came to Armin, had Eren's dad been working the enemy the whole time?

"Now don't worry even if the three of you are dead I have a plan C. He will come out. Now I know you must be thinking that this person is the beast. Well your wrong, the beast is already in his mission. He whom I am talking about is the source that guarantees us our victory. Unless that Jaeger boy interferes. Watch out for him, I've heard rumours that he is joining the Scouting Legion. I don't know what Grisha did to him but he could potentially be the key to be with us, most likely it won't awaken till Eren has reached the basement. We can never be to sure, but prepare yourself." The female chief explained.

The three of them simply nodded and got ready for their mission. Armin was shocked, was this Bertholdt's past? He still couldn't understand what was going on, but Armin decided it was a good thing to listen.

Suddenly the surroundings around the blonde boy began to move super fast as if in a blur. Was he finally going to die now? Was he now going to see his own life flash before his eyes? Armin closed his eyes and tried to make this feeling last for a bit, yet it wasn't painful? When he opened his eyes he gasped loud and fell to his knees.

Armin looked upon his surroundings and tried not to puke, the flames, the screams, the yells, the cries, and the worst; the big hole in the wall. Armin could feel the vile coming up and why was he starting here? Wall Maria, the day it was destroyed by that traitor. He understood sort of why he was here, but why were his flashbacks starting from this point in time? More importantly, why was he standing on this side of the wall, and why did everything seem so far down?

Then the giant muscular hand made out of flesh but no skin slammed into the hard stone wall that once protected Humanity. He laughed at his statement, even those walls couldn't protect everything, just look at Mikasa's situation.

It seemed as if he were seeing one of Bertholdt's memories again, but why? He didn't want to see this memory, he didn't want this. The small teenager screamed when he saw the large piece fall on Eren's house. He closed his eyes and felt hot steam cover him, and his surroundings move again. He was hoping for that to be last memory, but boy was he wrong.

He was in Trost now, from what he saw, it wasn't a part of Trost he had fought in, no it was a part he had never seen before. He was moving moderately fast this time he saw a blurb of silver and a brown trainee jacket. Armin had thought it was just any soldier but boy was he wrong. Now he actually did puke when he saw that face.

The freckles, the innocent smile, no why was he here. Out of all the things Armin had seen today he didn't want to see this. He hadn't seen his dead corpse, only Jean had, but he didn't want to see this. He watched as Marco begged for his life as he was slowly taken into the titans mouth, half his body's flesh being ripped and chewed at in such a disgusting way.

It was Bertholdt who did it then. It was all Bertholdt's fault, everything was fucking Bertholdt's fault. Mrs Jaeger, Marco.. Armin stared at the half corpse of his head friend, there was blood and guts everywhere. Never had he seen a body looked so messed up and mangled. What was left of his skin was sickly pale, and everything else was just that intense red liquid that only meant death. Why did Jean see this, he didn't want Jean to see this. Why?

Everything went black for Armin, and he knew it was over and he was going to leave the world now. Yet, he was wrong once again.

They touched him gingerly as his body was taken gently out of that steaming flesh. Nobody could hold their tears back as the blond boy rested peacefully on the roof. Levi and Hangë were off to Erwin's side giving him the final goodbye. Eren looked at his best friend and couldn't help a little sob of happiness come out of his mouth.

He saw one slightly injured hand come up and stroke the blonde's hair, the green eyed boy looked up only to see Mikasa standing in front of him. He watched in amazement as she stroked his hair, as if she was a caring mother. Mikasa as a mother only brought a smile to his face, yet there was a pang in his heart when he thought of that. The thing was he couldn't put his finger on what about that thought bade his heart hurt.

He sidetracked once again when he heard her quite loud sob as she suddenly grasped Armin's hand.

"You came back to us." She repeatedly sobbed.

His heart fluttered when he saw her smile at their best friend. For gods sake she was being more emotional them him, and he had known Armin longer. Why was she acting so emotional compared to him?

"Mikasa." Eren called out, and the asian girl turned her head to him.

"He came back, Mikasa. Armin didn't leave us." He could feel the sob in his throat as well now.

Mikasa smiled at him then turned back at Armin. "I'm glad, I'm so glad, I don't know what I would have done…" She stopped for a second and her joyful face turned into something Eren hadn't expected. She looked in pain.

"Mikasa?" He stuttered.

The asian grabbed her head and groaned, she mentally cursed at herself, it was this awful headache again. Why was it coming now, and more painful than ever.

"Mikasa, what's wrong? She could hear Eren's voice call out to her but it all seemed so far away.

No, she couldn't make them worry, Armin was too important now. "Mikasa, did you hit your head or something you don't look so good." Jean's voice snapped her out of it.

"No, I'm fine, it was just a headache." She lied.

Mikasa could feel Eren's bright eyes piercing into her, but she ignored it, she was not important right now. Hell, she couldn't care less, she just want ed to make sure Armin was alive and safe.

"I'm fine, stop worrying." She lied.

Eren sighed and looked back at Armin, she was putting others first right now. He wasn't with her when she fought, she could be just as injured as Sasha was right now, but she couldn't care less. He had to talk to her about this when they finish this mission.

"Eren!" Mikasa's voice called to him, he instinctively looked up at her in worry.

"He's waking up!" She said.

His eyes immediately snapped to his best friend laying on the ground. Eren saw Armin's eyes twitch, and his eyebrows scrunch up.

The blonde boy inhaled deeply and his eyes snapped open. Before he could get use to his surroundings Eren and Mikasa had tackled him to the ground barrelling him in a huge hug. He could feel both their tears fall onto his bare shoulder. When was he shirtless?

His eyes finally focused and he saw his two best friends, wait wasn't he supposed to be dead? He felt fear rush to him as the thought of the both of them dead came to his mind.

"Eren? Mikasa?" He asked them.

Before Eren could even speak Mikasa beat him to it, cradling Armin in her shoulder. "Your alright Armin, we saved you. Your alright, your alright, your not dead."

Armin's eyes widened as he stared at the two. "What do you mean? Didn't I fall from a crazy high height, I was burning to death."

"Armin, we saved you, we used the serum on you." Eren said gently.

"What serum?" Armin asked in curiosity.

"Your a shifter now, Armin. The serum can change one person into a shifter. It was between you or Erwin. Levi saved you." Eren explained.

"Oh." Armin said in sadness, had he really taken his higher up's life? Why was he saved?

His friends helped him get up and couldn't help but smile at everyone, those memories still with him. Jean looked at him in confusion as he never made eye contact with him.


End file.
